As any parent will tell you, the person who invented the pacificer is a hero. One moment your over-tired baby is screaming bloody murder, growing pointy claws from his hands, rotating his head 360 degrees in Exorcist fashion, and, within a microsecond after depositing a pacifier in the right place, he is suddenly a peaceful angel, staring serenely into the distance as if life had always been so good. The world's greatest pharmaceutical companies have yet to come up with a drug that can perform so effectively and dramatically on its patients.
The English call them dummies, the Australians refer to them as soothers (an understatement), and the Swiss name them nuggis, but quite frankly no one has come up with a more suitable name than pacificer. Kenneth seems to call them "Nullis" and has no trouble pointing us in their direction or seeking them out from hiding places in bedroom and kitchen cabinets at home. We are quite sure that most babies can do the same with their parents.
It is possible to have too much of a good thing. A friend of ours once confessed that, as a baby, he demanded not one, but five pacifiers, one snuggled securely in his mouth, one tucked in each hand, two extras placed closely at his side, before he would fall asleep in his crib. That was 30-some years ago, but his mother still likes to remind him of this episode in his life.
A good argument can be made that pacifiers for everyone could make the world a much more peaceful place. Unfortunately, the adult market for pacifiers has never quite caught on, with the notable exception of certain early 90s rappers and techno clubgoers. These people were on to something. Imagine what Kim Il-Sung, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Donald Rumsfield, or Hugo Chavez would have to say if they had pacificers... nothing... except, of course, the peaceful sound of "suck, suck".
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